


all i want this year (before you bury yourself alive)

by bloodynose (orphan_account)



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Alternate Universe, Christmas, Christmas Morning, M/M, Suicide Attempt, Trans Character, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-26
Updated: 2016-12-26
Packaged: 2018-09-12 11:19:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9069280
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/bloodynose
Summary: tyler is hopeless and not looking forward to the christmas family dinner. a pink-haired stranger talks him out of it.inspired by please don't jump (it's christmas) by dallon weekes





	

**Author's Note:**

> !!!! trigger warning for a suicide attempt and slight transphobia. please stay safe !! merry late christmas !!
> 
> translation into русский available:  
> https://ficbook.net/readfic/5091985  
> by ingefaerel

it's 3 am, on december 25th and tyler's sick of this year. he wishes someone could save him, he doesn't even wanna turn up to christmas dinner today, he doesn't wanna see the presents his parents got for him. he'd rather die right now, than rip open wrapping paper and find _dresses and skirts_. that's all just wasted money, because he's gonna die anyways, so why would it matter?  
  
snow is falling into tyler's dark hair, and onto his scarf which is wrapped around his neck and covering his mouth like a mask. his chest hurts (he feels trapped and free at the same time) he's shivering there are dried tears on his cold face. it doesn't matter if he gets sick, he's gonna die anyways.  
  
he's gonna die anyways. he's gonna die right now. this year's over, so is his life. nobody loves him, because he's a _freak_ , he's _disgusting_ , he's not _valid_ , so why would it matter?  
  
his vision on the river down below blurs, tyler blinks and tears are running down his face. he bites back a sob, gripping the railing with his soft hands, he's so angry, furious, and he doesn't know if it's at himself or everybody else.  
  
he cries probably as much as it's snowing right now, his scarf is getting wet and he sobs, and it's loud, but he doesn't care if anyone's around.  
  
"what are you doing?" there's a voice beside him, approaching, and it startles tyler. he looks, there's a boy with pink hair, broad shoulders and a look of concern on his face.  
  
"what-" tyler clears his throat. he coughs. "what does it look like?" his voice is high, and it's thick, because he's been crying and _he hates it._  
  
"please don't jump. _it's christmas_. why would you- why would you do that?" the pink-haired boy asks.  
  
tyler looks back into the river. "why do you wanna know? it doesn't matter."  
  
"because you seem like you're in a bad place. and i wanna help you."  
  
tyler looks at the boy, examines his face. the boy's worried and he looks intimidating, but somehow, tyler thinks he can trust him. and if not, why would it matter? he's gonna die anyways.  
  
tyler coughs again. his throat is itchy. "do you know what transgender means?" he asks.  
  
the pink-haired boy nods.  
  
"i'm- i'm transgender. and my parents, they're, um- they think i'm confused, or something. i guess. they're disappointed. really badly." tyler wipes his nose with his scarf. "doesn't matter. i'm gonna die anyways." tyler grips his shirt and moves his hand around, in an attempt to move his binder a little. it hurts.  
  
"please don't. you have _so much_ ahead of you."   
  
he scoffs. "i've heard that one so many times."  
  
the boy sighs. tyler looks at the snow in his pink hair. it's melting. "listen, i- look, please don't jump, because, you'll find someone you'll be safe with eventually, and then you'll be happy, and if you jump right now, people will miss you, and- and, _oh, god, i care,_ i don't think you're invalid. just know that there's atleast one person _. please don't end yourself_."  
  
"what's your name?"  
  
"i'm josh."  
  
tyler smiles. "i'm tyler. thank you, josh."  
  
❄  
  
it's 3 am, on december 25th and tyler's awake, next to josh, who is holding him. they're spooning and josh is stroking tyler's hair, whispering soothing words, telling him that _he's beautiful_ , that _he's valid_ and that he loves him _so, so much_.  
  
tyler is calm, he's crying, but it's the good kind, and he's so glad he came out to the pink-haired stranger one year ago on that bridge.  
  
_"merry christmas, baby boy."_


End file.
